It's been a long time since I've posted anything, and I have a lot that I could say.
Teach for America
I guess I should start with saying that I'm excited to announce that I've been offered a position with Teach for America. I've been assigned to teach secondary general science. There are some flags that come up though. First off, I have to move to South Carolina! I've never been out there before and the racial tension between black and white is not something I want to deal with. I have to leave City Year early (sometime before June 5th) to fly to South Carolina before I go to Texas for training. The problem with that is I have not yet been told when I have to fly out there. This poses a huge problem because I have to fund my own travel to South Carolina, to Houston, and then back to South Carolina. The next thing is I have to take tests before I can start teaching. I'm confident in my ability to pass one of the tests. For the other ones, I'm not even sure which ones they are that I have to take. It's hard to study when you don't know what you are supposed to study. But I have until June to become expert enough with science material to pass those tests. So I just bought books and I've started studying Biology. Once I'm comfortable with that, I'll move on to Chemistry, and hopefully I'll have enough time to get Physics in there.
Loss
Before I even had my TFA interview I had to get my transcripts from my community college. So in a 24 hour period I drove up to San Jose and back to Los Angeles by myself. In those 24 hours I also didn't give enough (or actually any) attention to someone I valued having in my life outside of my family. She didn't like that too much. My problem is that whenever I get focused on something I put my all into it. Nevertheless, I lost a good friend of 5 years because my lack of recognition and appreciation. Sometimes I wonder if I do this to close friends, will I ever be ready to fully commit to someone and have the opportunity to achieve a family?
Lakers
Ok, I see they are doing their thing. I have been silenced because I predicted they would end up a #3 seed in the Western Conference. I hope they make it to the finals for the simple facts that I'm from the West Coast and I hate San Antonio. I need for them and the Bulls to make it to the NBA Championship.
Lasers
I am thankful for Lupe Fiasco's album. This generation of music is dead to me except for a few artists. I appreciate Lupe for not being afraid to speak his mind on a lot of things we all know but don't have the opportunity or the courage to voice ourselves. I can't say I have a favorite track off this album but I will highlight "Break The Chain," "Beautiful Lasers," "I Don't Wanna Care," and "State Run Radio." But for the most part I like all of the songs.
Shootings
A few weeks ago was the first time I ever was scared to hear gun shots. It might have been because it was right outside of my window, a helicopter was flying overhead for the next hour or so, it was in a gang neighborhood where anybody that is not Latino should not be outside at night, and they caught one of the shooters right in front of my house.
Gas Prices
There has to be a better solution than this. Boycotting gas on one day is a stupid idea.
Ignorant College Graduates
I can't stand people that graduate college and remain ignorant and ghetto. I know you want to hold on to your roots, but at the same time, the only people that are going to "respect" you are the ones that you are being ghetto and ignorant with. Those aren't things that can be turned on and off easily. When you're dealing with important people you can only be fake when you are in your most calm state. In the future I hope your job doesn't push you outside of your comfort zone.
It has been a rough couple of weeks. But if it wasn't then I wouldn't be living up to the name of this blog.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Annoyance Rant
This is one of those random thoughts posts because I've had a couple beers and the thoughts are just flowing right now.
TV Shows
I found out why people like the dumbest shows that come on tv in the evenings during the week. It's not because people think they are good. It's because people want to see their city on tv. Just like how music artists are given credit not so much because they are good (most of the time they are not), but because of them being from a certain area and getting attention.
Weak
It sucks being a straight male and seeing the most beautiful women who are lesbian. Nuff said.
Baby Mamas
Everybody has babies these days. How many men are stepping up and deciding to be men instead of letting these women raise the children on their own? Everybody I see these days (except for maybe a very small handful of people) is a single parent. I miss the good ol' days when moms and dads were raising children together in the same household. But the generation we are producing these days (if this trend doesn't stop) will grow up with the idea that it's normal to see mom during the week and dad every other weekend. Once our youth have this idea in their minds there will be no need for love, and therefore the next normality will be for the children to raise themselves.
Heavy
It's also funny/interesting/sad to see that people that I knew from back in the day now have gained weight, and I'm not talking about the ones who are now mothers. I know there are some people who have disorders and whatnot, but for the other ones, hit the gym please (unless of course you are content with looking like a blimp). "Damn homie, in high school you was the man homie, the eff happened to you?"
NBA All Star Half Time Show
They needed to turn the microphone up during the halftime show. If it was just Rihanna up on stage the whole time it might have been a fail. But the addition of Drake and Kanye allowed her to dance a little bit and I was satisfied with it, especially since "All of the Lights" is my favorite song right now.
Number Four
I wanted to see "I Am Number Four" until I read the reviews and found out it's another twilight alien-style with more action. The only problem is the director is known for making movies where all the action is in the last half hour.
Old Spice
The Old Spice commercials do a good job at advertising to the right audience. What better way to get men to buy your products than entice the women who have a man that doesn't always smell so great?
Save Ourselves
What's up with black people and these ghetto names? Keywanna, LaDainian, LaTorsha, Aquanetta, etc. I can't help but laugh when I hear these names. I wonder if employers do the same thing before making that phone call to invite people to interviews.
Cropping
What is the point of people on Facebook cropping out other people in their pictures? Everyone wants to know, and they are all assuming one of two things: 1) you are hiding that person from others, 2) you are liking how you look in that picture and want to make it bigger.
Music these days
This current genre of music they play on the radio stations that they also play in the clubs is getting on my nerves. It has got on my nerves so much that I have completely boycotted 105.9 and 102.7 in LA until this genre dies out. Until then its 92.3 and 93.5 because they play the music I grew up to, when people had real talent. If this offends you, so what. Bruno Mars, Kesha, Justin Beiber, B.O.B., etc, come out with CRAP! Sure I hear their songs, but I don't listen to them. I can't. I refuse to listen to crap, so I bless my ears with stuff worth listening to.
I jumped rather quickly to random topics and this blog doesn't flow as nicely as you would expect. But I am also not here to please you, I'm here to release my thoughts in whatever manner I choose. I can do that without having to give much explanation because my life is easily difficult.
TV Shows
I found out why people like the dumbest shows that come on tv in the evenings during the week. It's not because people think they are good. It's because people want to see their city on tv. Just like how music artists are given credit not so much because they are good (most of the time they are not), but because of them being from a certain area and getting attention.
Weak
It sucks being a straight male and seeing the most beautiful women who are lesbian. Nuff said.
Baby Mamas
Everybody has babies these days. How many men are stepping up and deciding to be men instead of letting these women raise the children on their own? Everybody I see these days (except for maybe a very small handful of people) is a single parent. I miss the good ol' days when moms and dads were raising children together in the same household. But the generation we are producing these days (if this trend doesn't stop) will grow up with the idea that it's normal to see mom during the week and dad every other weekend. Once our youth have this idea in their minds there will be no need for love, and therefore the next normality will be for the children to raise themselves.
Heavy
It's also funny/interesting/sad to see that people that I knew from back in the day now have gained weight, and I'm not talking about the ones who are now mothers. I know there are some people who have disorders and whatnot, but for the other ones, hit the gym please (unless of course you are content with looking like a blimp). "Damn homie, in high school you was the man homie, the eff happened to you?"
NBA All Star Half Time Show
They needed to turn the microphone up during the halftime show. If it was just Rihanna up on stage the whole time it might have been a fail. But the addition of Drake and Kanye allowed her to dance a little bit and I was satisfied with it, especially since "All of the Lights" is my favorite song right now.
Number Four
I wanted to see "I Am Number Four" until I read the reviews and found out it's another twilight alien-style with more action. The only problem is the director is known for making movies where all the action is in the last half hour.
Old Spice
The Old Spice commercials do a good job at advertising to the right audience. What better way to get men to buy your products than entice the women who have a man that doesn't always smell so great?
Save Ourselves
What's up with black people and these ghetto names? Keywanna, LaDainian, LaTorsha, Aquanetta, etc. I can't help but laugh when I hear these names. I wonder if employers do the same thing before making that phone call to invite people to interviews.
Cropping
What is the point of people on Facebook cropping out other people in their pictures? Everyone wants to know, and they are all assuming one of two things: 1) you are hiding that person from others, 2) you are liking how you look in that picture and want to make it bigger.
Music these days
This current genre of music they play on the radio stations that they also play in the clubs is getting on my nerves. It has got on my nerves so much that I have completely boycotted 105.9 and 102.7 in LA until this genre dies out. Until then its 92.3 and 93.5 because they play the music I grew up to, when people had real talent. If this offends you, so what. Bruno Mars, Kesha, Justin Beiber, B.O.B., etc, come out with CRAP! Sure I hear their songs, but I don't listen to them. I can't. I refuse to listen to crap, so I bless my ears with stuff worth listening to.
I jumped rather quickly to random topics and this blog doesn't flow as nicely as you would expect. But I am also not here to please you, I'm here to release my thoughts in whatever manner I choose. I can do that without having to give much explanation because my life is easily difficult.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Health
Don't take medicine if you think you have a "cold." Why? Because most of it doesn't really do much to benefit you. The negatives outweigh the positives. The negatives include becoming dependent on it and ending up like House. All you need to do is tell yourself that you are not sick. The brain is a powerful tool that controls your body. It's mind over matter. You have to be in control of your brain. Just like in sports you can will your way to success, I believe you can will your way to avoid getting sick. I have some of the worst health habits--not getting enough hours of sleep, not eating right, not exercising, etc--and I've been sick only once in the past two years. I could say that my immune system is state-of-the-art (and I will), but I think most of it comes from me telling myself I can't get sick. I don't have the time to get sick. I have too much on my plate to be slowed down. I refuse. If more people had this mentality they could essentially will their immune systems to work harder. Don't turn into Mr./Mrs. Glass (Samuel L. Jackson on Unbreakable).
But also I am young still. I hope my immune system doesn't burn out in a few years. But shoot, who knows what may happen. Sometimes these things can just be described as easily difficult.
But also I am young still. I hope my immune system doesn't burn out in a few years. But shoot, who knows what may happen. Sometimes these things can just be described as easily difficult.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Priorities
It's funny how many people go after the degrees that yield high paying jobs, but not many people go after jobs that actually matter. In my opinion dealing with people is the best business to be in. It's not perfect, but its perfectible. Numbers rule the world, but who rules the numbers? We have parents that shouldn't be parents, parents that work their butts off to provide what they can, and parents that are just doing the basics if they have money. But however you look at it, it takes a village to raise a child. In order for a child to grow up to be a productive member of society, he or she must be surrounded by enough of the right people. When we have "bad" teachers it can have multiple effects on a child's development. If we want to increase competition to bring the best out of each other, we need to focus more on the human aspect and surrounding ourselves and our loved ones with the right people. That's the main reason why I could never work in accounting or retail. What I end up doing may not pay a lot of money, but at least I'll be in a field where I can help develop human beings so that we can work toward fundamentally changing the negative things in this world. "Bad" teachers, "good" teachers, "mediocre" teachers, all teachers deserve more credit than they are given. They are dedicating part of their lives to educating youth yet in the U.S. the only people glorified are the winners of sports championships. Where are our priorities? As a society we are stuck in the LA mentality. Everything has to appear good in order to be considered favorable and acceptable. People are so focused on money, and we are too distracted by internet and texting, that we are turning into a living fabrication. That's why we are so behind in education. Of course there are countless other factors that play an intricate part to our society's downfall, but I choose to point my finger (up) at the idea that education is not high enough on the priority list. But confidence and fashion is what we know best right?
Maybe you can connect with me on this. Maybe you can't. Maybe you glanced over this and missed something so now you are confused. However you look at it, many of the world's problems, and the U.S.'s problems are easily difficult.
Maybe you can connect with me on this. Maybe you can't. Maybe you glanced over this and missed something so now you are confused. However you look at it, many of the world's problems, and the U.S.'s problems are easily difficult.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Keep It Movin'
If I repeat myself it's because the fire was not extinguished; maybe the presence of oxygen will prevent the permanent submission of the key to warmth.
Tortilla Casserole
Don't sleep on this dish. If made correctly it can help you survive another week. If you grew up like how I did, you only know how to make food for four people. I always ate larger portions than I should have (I was a football player, it was necessary) and nothing has changed now that I am living on my own. But three days of tortillas, corn, beef, stewed tomatoes, diced green chiles, and a few other items, is pretty satisfying. It's better than what I used to do. I came a long way from cup o' noodles, rice, and hot dogs with ketchup back when I was a new graduate. One day I will step it up again and increase my menu so that I can have good eatin' seven days a week.
What to do
What are you supposed to do when you are given the task of wrapping the Colorado River with saran wrap and carry it through an Arizona desert without spilling a drop? What is the proper way to respond when absolutely every chance at success has been removed by forces out of your control? I took a risk to achieve greatness...and failed miserably. But the good thing is I won't stay in this funk forever. It's great that I failed. Without failure, I would not know how to work hard to prevent it from happening again................Wow, just typing those last few sentences has completely changed my mood.
Kind, inspirational words
I'm glad I surrounded myself with those that were going to make me successful. During my times of peril, I have always had people to lean on to stabilize me until I'm able to pick myself up. It's a good thing I have not had many stressful times, because I don't want to run out of reserves. I feel like friendships are like bank accounts. The longer you sustain a healthy one, the more you are depositing into the account. It's ok to withdraw every now and then, as long as you do it sparingly and intelligently. Sometimes it's not even the words of people that provide the temporary stability. Oftentimes, the presence and impact that individuals have had on me -- simply because I'm an observer and visual learner -- is enough to keep myself from sinking more into the sand.
I saved her life
Mom always knows what to do and say. She has saved me countless times. But one of the greatest stories she ever told me was how I saved her life. After my parents divorced (when I was 5) my mom was going through a (for lack of a better word) rough time. She mentioned she felt like giving up, until at the right time I walked into her room and asked, "mom, can you make me something to eat?" From that point on I guess my brother and I (and later on my sister) were her reasons for surviving. This relates to my story I've been telling for the past year about the students of 42nd Street Elementary. 2009-2010 was the hardest year of my life and the only thing that kept me going were those kids. They don't know they saved my life, but unlike my mom who raised me, these young people may never know they inspired me to keep it movin'.
Hopefully you understand me by now. My life is Easily Difficult.
Tortilla Casserole
Don't sleep on this dish. If made correctly it can help you survive another week. If you grew up like how I did, you only know how to make food for four people. I always ate larger portions than I should have (I was a football player, it was necessary) and nothing has changed now that I am living on my own. But three days of tortillas, corn, beef, stewed tomatoes, diced green chiles, and a few other items, is pretty satisfying. It's better than what I used to do. I came a long way from cup o' noodles, rice, and hot dogs with ketchup back when I was a new graduate. One day I will step it up again and increase my menu so that I can have good eatin' seven days a week.
What to do
What are you supposed to do when you are given the task of wrapping the Colorado River with saran wrap and carry it through an Arizona desert without spilling a drop? What is the proper way to respond when absolutely every chance at success has been removed by forces out of your control? I took a risk to achieve greatness...and failed miserably. But the good thing is I won't stay in this funk forever. It's great that I failed. Without failure, I would not know how to work hard to prevent it from happening again................Wow, just typing those last few sentences has completely changed my mood.
Kind, inspirational words
I'm glad I surrounded myself with those that were going to make me successful. During my times of peril, I have always had people to lean on to stabilize me until I'm able to pick myself up. It's a good thing I have not had many stressful times, because I don't want to run out of reserves. I feel like friendships are like bank accounts. The longer you sustain a healthy one, the more you are depositing into the account. It's ok to withdraw every now and then, as long as you do it sparingly and intelligently. Sometimes it's not even the words of people that provide the temporary stability. Oftentimes, the presence and impact that individuals have had on me -- simply because I'm an observer and visual learner -- is enough to keep myself from sinking more into the sand.
I saved her life
Mom always knows what to do and say. She has saved me countless times. But one of the greatest stories she ever told me was how I saved her life. After my parents divorced (when I was 5) my mom was going through a (for lack of a better word) rough time. She mentioned she felt like giving up, until at the right time I walked into her room and asked, "mom, can you make me something to eat?" From that point on I guess my brother and I (and later on my sister) were her reasons for surviving. This relates to my story I've been telling for the past year about the students of 42nd Street Elementary. 2009-2010 was the hardest year of my life and the only thing that kept me going were those kids. They don't know they saved my life, but unlike my mom who raised me, these young people may never know they inspired me to keep it movin'.
Hopefully you understand me by now. My life is Easily Difficult.
Misunderstood ain't gotta be explained
"I'm just a soul whose intentions are good, oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood." - Tha Carter 3Intimacy
Technically I have been single since around my 23rd birthday. I have been stringing others along, and to put myself in a box, I guess I don't know what I want. Even though I feel like I do; which means I have to put myself in the box of I don't want to get hurt. I have been out of the game for so long and it is easy for me to just say that I am lazy. When in fact it is much more complicated than that.
Enemies
It's hard to know who your enemies are, because people are so good at being fake. Either that, or I've decided I don't have the time to figure out who the enemies are. So I just put up a front that I know nobody will be able to decipher. To the untrained eye, the way I do things is about as mind-boggling as a rubik's cube, but I like to think of it more along the lines of: I am a DNA strand, and you are a second year science major. My complexities stay undiscovered to everyone, like the guy who was better than Michael Jordan, but was never given the opportunity to run. This may lead to a lonely life, but backstabbing is a non-negotiable. So I stick with my complexities, because I don't have the time nor the energy to compartmentalize my enemies.
The Coldest Winter
Los Angeles doesn't get that cold (according to folks who are from the cold states), but my body and my soul were freezing this past winter. I didn't have anyone to keep my body warm, or anyone to take my mind off the cold. I became a victim of the lower 3/5ths of Los Angeles and I created that icebox that Omarion was talking about. If you understand what I'm saying let me know. You don't understand what I'm saying, so keep your mouth closed.
Conviction
Never let 'em see you sweat. Dogs can smell fear, and sharks can smell blood from a mile away. The only thing that dog will be smelling is the signs of a bowel movement, and the shark will be swimming right into a freshly flushed toilet bowl trap. No matter what, my conviction will never leave me. It may seem like I lack confidence, but I can assure you it's all part of the plan.
Agenda
I want to thank all my school teachers for forcing me to keep an agenda every day at school. That agenda has gone green, which has become a formidable weapon with reserves.
Now I can rest because I got all of that off my chest. But the thing about hair and no money, you can't afford that "state-of-the-art" electrolysis.
If you don't understand me that's good! But it also might mean that you're thinking too hard. If you do understand me that's even better!! My life is Easily Difficult.
Bold? Yes! Disagree? Good!
This is me. These are my thoughts. Just wanted to preface that. Disagree if you want, I don't really care. I thought I'd try this blogging thing out for a little while. Mostly to get my thoughts out there through this vehicle so that I didn't have to verbally complain in front of people. I guess the format I will follow will be a highlighted topic followed by my thoughts about each. By the way, this idea was inspired by my boy 1maddskillz simply because I see this guy blog all the time about sports, while throwing in life situations in the mix every now and then.
Lakers
After witnessing that loss by 20 points to the Bobcats I am a little worried for Laker fans. I mean granted there is only 1 other team that has the Lakers' number, they have no business beating a team that has been slated to win another championship before Phil Jackson retires. In 13 games, the Bobcats of Charlotte have beaten the premiere Los Angeles team a total of 8 times, and 8 out of the last 10 times. Boston is the only other team that has beaten the Lakers more times than the Lakers have beaten them. They will do enough to make the playoffs in my opinion, obviously, but I'm thinking they will get a number 3 or 4 seed. This means they will end up playing a more-than-decent team early, and have to work uphill from there. They have all the talent necessary to win the championship again, and folks are high-spirited in saying "they will turn it on in the playoffs," but I feel like they are blindly hoping for something to keep them sane with all the madness occurring.
Los Angeles
I speak of the madness because this city is not what it was cracked up to be when I was growing up. The few times I visited I was in the good parts of the city. But now that I have lived here for 2 years I can without hesitation say that I am done. Where are all the black people? Skid row! Everybody knows this, but every time I bring it up I get the "Oh yea, huh," response. Describe Downtown LA in 5 words or less...filth, vomit and urine. But that's where you can see everybody during the work week I guess. This is supposed to be one of the most diverse cities in the country. It is, however the set up of the city is more like a zoo exhibit. If you want to see the Koreans, you go to Koreatown. If you want to see the Armenians you go to Little Armenia. The lack of integration is something I never knew existed because I grew up in a city, and went to schools where diversity was integrated (except for college where there were nothing but white people). If you're only exposed to rap music, how are you going to know anything else if nobody tells you or you seek it out yourself? Just like the people who grow up and only know violence because that was all they were exposed to.
Violence
I'm not going to talk about the obvious violence that our world is faced with, because enough people (who are not succeeding in ending it) are talking about it. Instead I want to go along the road less traveled. Just came off a excellent retreat (well half for me) with our high school students about violence. I wonder how many people out there are realizing the things going on in society but actually have conversations about them. The cases of violence keep increasing these days. Either we are lacking in anger management with our youth, or (I'm going to be bold) the technology that exists invites more violence. Almost everybody has Facebook these days--almost everybody has access to each other's identities. We now have a method of fostering a hostile environment in the most friendly of places. Disrespect is so easy now because we can hide in front of a screen. Whether it's with texting (when we can decide when WE want to respond), or Facebook, we rely too heavily on electronic devices to communicate. This is now another reason why we are forgetting how to be "human." When people lose words, or are backed into a corner (when they feel threatened), they feel their only option is to resort to violence.
I typed all of this waiting for my lunch for the week to finish cooking and I'm slighly tipsy from the beers I had earlier. But man it felt good to get that all out. I have a lot on my mind, and I'm glad I now have this to express my thoughts
If you don't understand me that's good! But it also might mean that you're thinking too hard. If you do understand me that's even better!! My life is Easily Difficult.
Lakers
After witnessing that loss by 20 points to the Bobcats I am a little worried for Laker fans. I mean granted there is only 1 other team that has the Lakers' number, they have no business beating a team that has been slated to win another championship before Phil Jackson retires. In 13 games, the Bobcats of Charlotte have beaten the premiere Los Angeles team a total of 8 times, and 8 out of the last 10 times. Boston is the only other team that has beaten the Lakers more times than the Lakers have beaten them. They will do enough to make the playoffs in my opinion, obviously, but I'm thinking they will get a number 3 or 4 seed. This means they will end up playing a more-than-decent team early, and have to work uphill from there. They have all the talent necessary to win the championship again, and folks are high-spirited in saying "they will turn it on in the playoffs," but I feel like they are blindly hoping for something to keep them sane with all the madness occurring.
Los Angeles
I speak of the madness because this city is not what it was cracked up to be when I was growing up. The few times I visited I was in the good parts of the city. But now that I have lived here for 2 years I can without hesitation say that I am done. Where are all the black people? Skid row! Everybody knows this, but every time I bring it up I get the "Oh yea, huh," response. Describe Downtown LA in 5 words or less...filth, vomit and urine. But that's where you can see everybody during the work week I guess. This is supposed to be one of the most diverse cities in the country. It is, however the set up of the city is more like a zoo exhibit. If you want to see the Koreans, you go to Koreatown. If you want to see the Armenians you go to Little Armenia. The lack of integration is something I never knew existed because I grew up in a city, and went to schools where diversity was integrated (except for college where there were nothing but white people). If you're only exposed to rap music, how are you going to know anything else if nobody tells you or you seek it out yourself? Just like the people who grow up and only know violence because that was all they were exposed to.
Violence
I'm not going to talk about the obvious violence that our world is faced with, because enough people (who are not succeeding in ending it) are talking about it. Instead I want to go along the road less traveled. Just came off a excellent retreat (well half for me) with our high school students about violence. I wonder how many people out there are realizing the things going on in society but actually have conversations about them. The cases of violence keep increasing these days. Either we are lacking in anger management with our youth, or (I'm going to be bold) the technology that exists invites more violence. Almost everybody has Facebook these days--almost everybody has access to each other's identities. We now have a method of fostering a hostile environment in the most friendly of places. Disrespect is so easy now because we can hide in front of a screen. Whether it's with texting (when we can decide when WE want to respond), or Facebook, we rely too heavily on electronic devices to communicate. This is now another reason why we are forgetting how to be "human." When people lose words, or are backed into a corner (when they feel threatened), they feel their only option is to resort to violence.
I typed all of this waiting for my lunch for the week to finish cooking and I'm slighly tipsy from the beers I had earlier. But man it felt good to get that all out. I have a lot on my mind, and I'm glad I now have this to express my thoughts
If you don't understand me that's good! But it also might mean that you're thinking too hard. If you do understand me that's even better!! My life is Easily Difficult.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)